Shakespeared

At a time when I already have enough things to remember, my brain is crowded with all this flotsam and jetsam from long dead authors. Why can I still recite the beginning of Canterbury Tales in Old English? Who gives a dickens about Charles Dickens and all his weary little characters? What possible use are lines from Shakespeare when I am writing a cookbook?

I can blame my teachers for constantly drumming this useless information into my head, but most of all I blame Shakespeare. HE was the only "C" I ever received on a term paper. Honestly, I can't imagine a playwright sitting down and thinking, "I guess I'll use this illusion here, this allegory there and punch the whole thing up with a dark/light theme." Any author tells a story, the rest is style. Oh, and by the way, now they can't decide if Shakespeare REALLY wrote those plays! So much for the "greatest playwright" business.

So where is Shakespeare...I mean besides the library shelves? I finally get my revenge because I can imagine him anywhere I like:

1. Heaven- "What light from yonder halo blindeth me?"
2. Hell- "Boil, boil, toil and trouble."
3. Reincarnated as Benny Hill-"I was so misunderstood. All my plays were suppose to be comedies. I just wanted to make people laugh!" Yes!!!!