We're Pregnant...One Dumb Phrase

Right at the top of my list of stupid phrases that have made it into our lexicon is, "We're pregnant." Until science manages to rearrange the anatomy of man, this is a physical impossibility. I have not been able to place the blame for this bizarre term on any particular person, but I have my suspicions it was spawned in California by some touchy-feely natural childbirth instruction.

I thought this was supposed to be the modern age? Why should liberated women let men off the hook by encouraging the use of this term? It may make the men feel warm and fuzzy, but as in the old days, they are still merely the cause of the pregnancy.

The day when old hubby:

1. looks horrified when he notices ugly stretch marks on his once baby smooth hips

2. swallows a horse-sized prenatal vitamin every day for nine months

3. gives up lunch meat, fish and alcohol while spending an inordinate amount of time watching his last meal ejecting itself from his body

4. lays awake at night while junior practices tumbling and he endures heartburn

5. leaps upon the labor and delivery table shouting, "I'll take it from here, honey."

...only then my son, are YOU really are pregnant!