I'm glad that I had the good sense to attend a university with a proper team mascot. If you fall in the Tiger, Panther, Bear, Eagle, Lion, Hawk or Cougar category, you are in good company. The favored mascots also include, Bulldog, Pioneer, Wildcat, Knight and Warrior. Okay, so your alma mater may not have been original in their selection, but I think it is safe to assume you will not end up on anyone's list of weird mascots.
On the other hand, some students must have spent a wee bit too much time in the bar before selecting a mascot for the home team. Would you want to be a(n) anteater, llama, kangaroo, camel, blackfly, mastodon or a gull? Can you picture the posters? "My Gull will eat your Blackfly any day!"
Likewise, inanimate objects don't project an image of victory. "Go trees!" "Yea Artichokes!" Though I will admit, WuShock, the bundle of wheat pictured above, does look pretty intimidating.
Maybe what you seek is some Divine intervention. Try being a Deacon, Cardinal, Saint, Crusader or a Battlin' Bishop. The alternative is a Devil (of many colors) or a Demon. My favorite mascot in the religious category is Hustlin' Quaker. How oxymoronic!
The fashion forward schools include; Tartans, Purple Aces, Golden Flashes, Maroons (too easily converted to Morons), Silverswords, Crimson Tide and the creative, Golden Gusties.
When it comes to facing adversity, the winners are Pygmies, Wonder Boys, Jumbos and Banana Slugs. If you make it through four years of college with a nickname like that, I'm sure you will be able to conquer the professional world. If you are feeling insecure, you might wish to join the Gorlocks or the Billikens, as they don't even seem sure what/who they are, either.
So, as the sun sets in the west, the Pipers are playing a tune while the Bison are transporting the Jimmies, who are experimenting with Eutectics and watching the Stormy Petrels fly south. No matter your alama mater or your mascot, how about sending them a little donation this year. It's not always easy being a Dirtbag.
No comments:
Post a Comment