Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Misty Ray Dawn Applies for Job as Naked Maid

While the debate rages in Lubbock whether naked maids are just clean fun or a sexually oriented business, I couldn't help wondering what a job interview might entail.

Owner: "Welcome to Dirty Fantasy Maids. I've been looking over your application and I just have a few questions. You left last name blank. Is your first name Misty Ray and your last name Dawn?
MRD: "No, my last name name was Cherry Fizz, but I changed it to Misty Ray Dawn when I moved to Texas."
Owner: "I see you previously worked in Detroit and New Jersey. Can you give me a job description?"
MRD: "Well, a "job" is when you put a...
Owner: "No, I mean, what type of work did you do?"
MRD: "I waited on tables at the Hi-LO in Detroit. Then when my boyfriend was sent to prison, I moved to New Jersey to be closer to him. I got a big break when I was working at Take It Off. One of the dancers got so drunk she fell out of her cage, so I got to fill in. The pay was better and they provided costumes...ya' know, g-strings and such. Of course, the tips were better too."
Owner: "We don't provided costumes, but our maids are supposed to work in teddies or in the buff."
MRD: "Well, I got some teddies, but I don't have no buff."
Owner: "Buff is another word for nude."
MRD: "Oh, yeah, nude works for me. I have some great tats that I like to show off."
Owner: "You have great what?"
MRD: You know, tattoos. I got this here one right on my backside that says, "Shake your Money Maker." After I moved to Texas, I got a bible verse and this Adam and Eve on my belly. Texas boys love their bibles."
Owner: "Gee, that is quite a work of art, but I'm unfamiliar with what part of the Bible that "Love the One You're With" is from."
MRD: "I don't know either, but the boys just love it."
Owner: "Is there anything else that you would like to tell me?"
MRD: I just got these new knockers. Went all the way to Abilene to have 'em done. I'm lookin' for some extra work to help pay for them. The doctor gave 'em to me on the installment plan."
Owner: "Obviously you got your money's worth on those. Now, can you show me a little about your experience for the job. Give me a little demonstration of your skills with a broom."
(a few minutes later...)
"Well, you are quite flexible. I don't think I'll ever look at a broom without remembering this, but I was wanting to see your housekeeping know, dusting, sweeping, etc."
MRD: "You mean, I need to CLEAN someone's toilet and pick up their dirty laundry? That is so disgusting! You are one sick women! I'm not working in a place like this.

"You've got it all wrong Miz Scarlett.  I know you have a better figure, but I'm supposed to clean in the nude and you're supposed to wear the dress."

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