Heinz-Sighted

I don't dine out very frequently, but when I do, I get pretty aggravated with the restaurants that offer faux condiments. I don't want some maple-flavored pancake syrup or butter substitute. I want the real thing. That goes for ketchup, too. Why would any restaurant owner want to cut corners when it comes to something as basic as ketchup. Just how much money are you guys saving by foisting off these Heinz wanna-be products on me?
If I indulge in French fries, I expect to dip them in the yummy goodness of the ketchup I know and love... not some watery, vinegary mess. Do I need to start hauling my Simply Heinz to every fast food joint and restaurant in town? Don't think I wouldn't. I carried bottled water until all the local restaurants converted to RO. I think leaving my empty water bottle on the table in protest was quite effective. Maybe I'll order some mini jars of Heinz and begin another restaurant revolution.
I know Santa's modus operandi and I can guarantee that you faux ketchup peddlers will suffer Christmas morning.

All you diligent restaurateurs will be suitable rewarded.