Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Jen Lancaster: Extreme Narcissist

I don't think I ever read a book that I like less than Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster.  The not so novel, novel deals with her "real" life.  As the story opens, one gets the impression of a savvy-looking, driven executive afflicted with poor social skills.  It deteriorates from there.  This woman is obsessed with herself.  She is a loud, potty-mouth abuser of her constitutional right to free speech. There is an ah-ha moment when one realizes exactly from where all that power-hungry, shopaholic, people abusing behavior stems. Psychologically it is known as the Fat Woman Syndrome.  She is latently unhappy with her body (not matter what excuses she makes) and takes this angst out on the world in a less than appropriate manner.  She is so miserable that she makes everyone else miserable, too. Unfortunately, the reader is forced to follow her down the path of personal destruction.  Blaming her loss of job on the .com decline, she totally fails to even consider that her personality just might have alienated her from most of the English speaking world.  She can't even get a job at Starbucks.  Does that tell you something?
If she had landed a job, I think this would be her take on the day.
 "Today I arrived at my new job at Starbucks.  They have no idea of my superior management skills, so I will just show up all my co-workers and soon I'll be running the place.  First of all, I'm wearing my chocolate brown flared-skirt and matching sweater set.  Unfortunately, I had to sell my Gucci purse on EBay, but I look so much better than anyone else in the place, it hardly matters.  Stupid Mr. Nose-Pierce is stoned and trying to hit on Miss Tattoo...get the picture? It is a good thing she's just standing there because if she ever got those thighs in action, she'd catch her jeans on fire. I stand out like a goddess among the rabble. "
You think I'm kidding?..wait until you read her diatribes.  Even less fortunate, she often verbalizes exactly what she is thinking. She makes Don Rickles look like a saint.  If you married your boyfriend because you were out of money and wanted cash wedding gifts, would you tell the world? No wonder he needs anti-depressants. Most of Jen's life decisions are pretty appalling.  The only things I can think to say in her defense is that she sent money for the homeless (whom she ridicules), adopted two homeless dogs (that she could ill-afford) and sent something to the soldiers after 9-11.
Despite her education, socially she hasn't advance passed junior high.  Her writing/attitude has all the ear-marks of a pubescent teen's diary entry filled with cursing.  "Jensylvania" leaves me at a loss for words.  Get back in the real world!  The saddest part is, I think she has some funny stories to tell and  great organizational skills. Maybe her other books are better, but I'm not counting on it judging from the titles: Bright Lights, Big Ass, Such a Pretty Fat, Pretty in Plaid and My Fair Lazy.  The happy ending to the Jen Lancaster story is that she finally has a boss she can admire...she is self-employed.
I know, if you can't say something nice...don't say anything at all. I have great empathy for all writers and hate it when work is criticised only for self-promotion of the reviewer.  Yes, I feel guilty, but it was a really bad book...and that's the truth.

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