Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Apache Attack 2011

Least favorite person.
Yes, it has been 115 years since the great Apache chief Geronimo surrendered. Unfortunately for me, the shoe is now on the other foot.  It all began rather innocuously. The great white leader of the Apache Corporation, Roger Plank, decided to construct an encampment at the junction of Highway 158 and County Road 420.  Not content to be held within in the bounds of the settlement, scouts soon spread out across Garden City.  Slowly and inexorably, they crawled closer and closer to the Diamond B Ranch. Two weeks ago they performed a daring daylight raid on the sanctity of my property.  At least I thought it was my property.  As PARTNER informed me, "If you don't own the minerals rights, they can do as they please."
My new neighbors.
Well, it may not bother Roger Plank that my pristine ranch is about to be turned into a commercial enterprise, but it make me pretty darn in exorcist head-spinning mad. We have spent the last six years turning the ranch into a wildlife conservation area. In a matter of two weeks, it has morphed into a drilling site.  If you have not been around an oilfield, you have no idea of the noise, traffic and inconvenience we are about to endure.  Ultimately, we are left with a property that has uncontrollable access and dotted with "business" sites.
My plan was to don camo, so they couldn't see me and carry out a sniper assault on all persons and vehicles entering the property. PARTNER  says I may absolutely NOT do any of the following:
1.  Erect a tollgate.
2.  Slash tires.
3.  Purchase dynamite.
4.  Install land mines.
5.  Be a party to "accidental" shootings.
6.  Throw rocks.
7.  Release rattlesnakes, skunks or porcupines at the well sites.
8.  Hurl invectives at employees.
As far as I'm concerned, PARTNER is a terrific killjoy and is sleeping (not literally) with the enemy.  I want to sell the property and walk away before I have to deal with the angst and inconvenience.  He says that it is not an option, either. I guess it's the Apache way or the highway for me.

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