Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Casting a Curse

I thought it only fair to include the wicked folks who leased our land right out from under us, ie. the mineral right holders, in my rant.  In fact, just a rant was too good for them. They deserve something even worse, as they initiated all of this mess with Apache. So, here is my best attempt at casting a curse.

My new personna
 May these afflictions follow to the seventh son of the seventh son of whomsoever (Apache and the mineral rights holders) transgresses against the Diamond B Ranch:
IRS investigations, EPA lawsuits and OSHA compliance failures
Zombies, vampires and poltergeist hauntings
Boils, blemishes, shingles and poison ivy
Invasions of locusts, chiggers and red ants
Hail, dust storms and wind followed by monsoons
Rattlesnake bites and dysentery
Bankruptcy, personal injury lawsuits and $10 a gallon crude prices
Breaking drill bits, collapsing casings and the most expensive dry holes on record
And in case they survive all these calamities:
May your daughter marry a derelict and your son marry a pole-dancer.  If that happens to be a family tradition, I guess you are already cursed.

I think this is rather good for my first try.  For the small sum of $500, I will be glad to compose a suitable curse for your individual situation.  Cash only.  No guarantees implied. Find my new business at

No comments:

Post a Comment