Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Edward Scissorhands Needs Adoptive Parents

ONLY and ONLY'S parents have decided that it is time to find a new home for Eddie, alias YaYa, alias Edward Scissorhands.  I am thrilled by the prospect of Eddie moving on to greener pastures.  In fact, I have been wishing for this day since shortly after he was adopted from the SPCA.
SPOUSE TWO, having been raised with cats, made the cat selection.  I'm sure as a small creature, this cat had some appealing aspects, but he turned out to be extremely anti-social and aggressive.  While we don't know his lineage, I'm convinced that he is part alley cat and part panther...heavy on the panther.
Obviously, I've never bonded with Eddie.  Our encounters have been limited to flashing his claws at me in a non-affectionate manner and tackling my leg when he wants to be fed.  I give him a wide berth.  When I visit ONLY et al. he plays mind games with me...hiding until I'm convinced somehow he has escaped from the house.  I used to be able to rout him out with a good shake of the food jar, but now he's on to my trick.  I have to shut my door at night or I will find him creeping up between the bedspread and covers, causing me no end of alarm. Since he never wants to be anywhere near me, I can only deduce that his does this to terrorize me...and it works.
The pet-lovers and saints across the street voluntarily cat-sit for the beast.  They are rewarded for their efforts to keep Eddie alive by being scratched and thoroughly despised.  They now enter the house armed with a tennis racket. 
I wish I could say something positive about this cat other than he is very striking.  He looks docile enough in the picture, but don't be fooled by this nonchalant pose. (Of course, he couldn't keep his bodily parts covered.)  And yes, he is a very large cat with a giant-sized litter box.  His hobbies are scratching rugs, shedding and retaliatory "deposits" if he feels neglected.  This is not a dumb cat.  It took him only a few days to figure out how to dismantle an automatic feeder, but he does suffer from selective hearing.
As ONLY so succinctly put it, "I think we should put YaYa outside."  Music to my ears!  Now if he would only stay outside.  Maybe he could take a catamaran to Kathmandu or drive the Cadillac to the Catskills. I don't care where he goes, just as long as he goes...

If you are interested in offering this cat a loving home, you will be my best friend for life, even though you are delusional. Really, who would want to take on this terror? I'm afraid we are stuck with him.

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