Several years ago, when I was still kind and gentle with these annoying callers, I had a woman call me from Florida. I don't remember what she was selling, but in my sweetest voice I announced that I did not take telephone solicitations. Her response was, "You *****! What did you call me?" and quickly disconnected.
My mother had the two very best phone stories I ever heard. She was constantly getting phone calls from the Arthur Murray Dance Studio. Despite her protests, they were determined that she come in for a free dance lesson. After politely refusing on numerous occasions, she finally decided to play along.
AMDS: "At absolutely no cost to you, we would like to give you a free dance lesson so that you can experience the joys of dancing."
MOM: " But I can't dance."
AMDS: "We can teach anyone to dance. Soon you will be gliding across the floor."
MOM: "Well, it sounds like lots of fun, but...
AMDS: "When would you like to come in for your free lesson?"
MOM: "I can't drive, so I'll have to find someone to take me over there."
AMDS: "You could take a taxi."
MOM: "I don't have any legs, so it is hard for me to answer the door."
AMDS: "Click!"
Her other telephone triumph occurred shortly after my father died.
Caller: "May I speak with Fred Neef?"
Mom: "He isn't here. May I take a message?"
Caller: "No, I need to speak directly to Mr. Neef."
Mom: "Can you tell me what this is in regards to?"
Caller: "I need to speak to Mr. Neef, personally. It is quite important."
Mom: "He can't be reached by phone right now."
Caller: "Is there another way I can get in touch with him?"
Mom: "Are you in the vicinity?"
Caller: "Yes."
Mom: "Are you familiar with West Second Street?"
Caller: "Yes."
Mom: "You take West second to Shady Grove, turn right and then take your first left. Follow that road less than a mile and he's the first grave on the right by the big tree."
No comments:
Post a Comment