Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Soundtrack for Fifty Shades of Gray Trilogy

When I first saw it, I thought the book  Fifty Shades of Gray was going to be about life in a retirement home. Obviously, you can judge a book by its title.

I have been fascinated about the recent popularity of trilogies such as Hunger Games, Twilight and now E.L James' Gray books. At first, I figured reading something was better than being on the phone or computer, but I am afraid I was wrong.
Let me clarify that I have NOT read any of these books:
 Fifty shades of Gray
 Fifty Shades Darker
 Fifty Shades Freed
But, after reading so many reviews of the Gray books, I find difficult to believe the mother for two teenage sons thought that these books were a good idea. The consensus (out of 17,000 reviews on Amazon) is they are not well written, have weak plots and not consistent with the language used in the United States.  (I've yet to hear an American declare they are "on holiday.") That is just sloppy research.

In a really great review, meymoon comments," Take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips and the book would be down to 50 pages." (out of 528)
It seems to be a contest to see who can write the wittiest review, but Katrina Lumsden (Goodreads) has done quite an amusing piece, including over-used words from Gray.
"oh my"  79
mummers 193
whisper(s) 199
The author takes exception to the books being referred to as "mommy porn."  I do, too.  It denigrates mommies.  Her reason to take offence with the term is she feels that it was coined by misogynists who don't think women should enjoy sex.  I guess she somehow missed the fact that her main character is being abused and manipulated by a man.  Sounds like fun to me! I can see why one reviewer commented, "I bought the whole set for my mom for Christmas."
If you've read the books and are looking for more fun, try the Fifty Shades of Gray boardgame.  This is recommended for ages 15-18.  For a mere $26, you too can see how "fun and liberating" it can be.
Typical question:  "Which of your friends is most likely to have an affair with her boss?" I know I'd love my 15-year-old to be playing this game.
Since Gray ranks number 8 in the Amazon top 100 books and there is a movie deal in the works, the  trilogy isn't going away anytime soon.  I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and make a little cash off this strange and perverted phenomena. I hope I'm not too late, as it already hit the home improvement store.

My idea?  A soundtrack to play while you're reading the books.
Don't miss out on this great opportunity!  My digitally re-mastered masterpiece CD includes some hot songs to get you in touch with your "inner goddess".
Chains of Love by Erasure
Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar by The Andrews Sisters
The Ties that Bind by Bruce Springsteen
Whip It by Devo
Chains by The Cookies
Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden
Queen of Torture by Wishbone Ash
When the Whip Comes Down by the Rolling Stones
Woman in Chains by Tears for Fears
King of Pain by The Police
Beat It by Michael Jackson
Leather by Tori Amos
Rawhide by Frankie Laine
Pain by Three Days of Grace
Princess of the Night by Saxon
These Boots by Nancy Sinatra
Be the first to get your copy of S&M's Greatest Hits.  Only $69.95!* Call 1-800-IMA -PERVERT to order.
*Does not include shipping,  handling or smut peddler tax.

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