Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Sex Sells

In a fit of hilarity, I purchased a Harlequin Romance that was authored by a woman who just happened to have the same name as One. What fun I would have with that!
Figuring I could knock off 180 pages in an hour, I decided to find what skills this woman possessed that would allow her to become a best-selling author. (ie. Four stars on the romance novel scale and sold out in Australia.)

To my horror, I found I needed to scrap all my preconceived notions about novel writing and start over. I now know:

1. The title should have nothing to do with the contents of the book. If it contains big money in the title, it's a sure fire winner: The Ruthless Billionaire's Virgin, The Greek Millionaire's Secret Child, Untamed Billionaire-Undressed Virgin, Billionaire Doctor-Ordinary Nurse, The Millionaire Boss's Reluctant Mistress (Honest, for REAL titles!)
2. Soft/hard core porn sells.
3. The ratio of sex to plot should be 85% in favor of sex.
4. Not leaving the house for an entire week, except for food or condom purchase, is a viable plot device.
5. Always leave them longing for more. Her next book? Something with "accidentally pregnant" in the title.

I know I'm swimming against the tide with a manuscript that actually tells a story and conveys an emotion that can be felt above the belt, but I'm just not sure I could change my title from The Shroud of Mount Revenge to He Mounted Her For Revenge.

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