Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

My Dream Date With Walter Matthau

Any normal person would have a dream about a handsome hunk, but no, not me. I conjured up a date with late Walter Matthau, bulldog-face man.  He was in a tuxedo (didn't help) and I was trying to select an appropriate evening ensemble from a rack of slightly used retro clothing.  While Walter's friends were solicitously supplying me with ice and drinks (which I didn't want), I was trying to fix a drooping sequin fleur-de-lis on the front of my polyester pantsuit.
W: " My dear, you seem to have something black all over your face."
Me, looking in the mirror:  "Oh, it's only these darn sequins.  They keep falling off my outfit." Falling off would be a misnomer here, these things are embedded in my skin. I try peeling them away, only to find they have left bright red pock-marks upon my facial features.

Everyone I tell about this dream has the same reaction; "Walter Matthau???!!!" ...followed by gales of laughter.  Yeah, it's only funny if I hasn't happened to you.
My Freudian analysis of this dream is as follows:
1.  I am very happily married.  I couldn't even cheat on PARTNER in a dream.  Next to Boy George, Walter Matthau is probably the last person to cause jealousy. I am practically a saint.
2.  I need some new, cocktail items.
3.  My face IS getting lines and wrinkles.  I am no longer young.

My practical analysis of the nightmare is: don't eat too much dark chocolate right before bedtime or Walter might begin to look like this...

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