Everything I Know About Men I Learned From Two Old Movies and a Brad Paisley Song

Yep, it's true.  I've spent a good part of my life trying to figure out men and how to get along with them. Reflecting back on what I've learned, I realize the eternal truths regarding the male sex can be condensed into three soundbites.

From Brad Paisley we learn the futility of trying....

"You're  probably thinkin' that you're gonna' change me.
In some way, well, maybe you might.
Scrub me down, dress me up
Oh, but no matter what,
Remember, I'm still a guy."

From Sylvia (Celeste Holm) in Tender Trap (1955)  to Joe (David Wayne) on marriage...

"You've got the married man's (pipe)dream...
You want a girl.  That's what you all want...a girl...and that's what you can never have...
Because, the only way to have a girl is not to marry her because then, she becomes a wife...that's something entirely different.

Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee (1962) If a Man Answers on wedded bliss...

Chantel (Sandra) is given the key to a happy marriage by her mother, Germaine,...a canine training book.  "You must treat your husband like a dog.  Praise him when he is learning to fetch and carry.  Make the words 'come here' mean something pleasurable.  Be sure to frolic with your pet a part of each day."