Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Television Sickness

I have spent the better part of the last week in bed with a sinus infection. During that time period, I have used five boxes of Kleenex and consumed over 420 ounces of ginger ale. My sole companion through all of this has been the television. Rather than waste my time just lying there feeling sorry for myself, I decided to make the most of the educational opportunity.  This is some of what I have learned this week.
You can make 40 different meals with Hamburger Helper mixes.
Three HGTV shows you don't want to be on are: ColorSplash, The Antonio Treatment and My House Goes Disney.
Gay men don't always have good taste.
Paula Deen looks like she's had a little work done over the years.
Never put lattice on the interior of your home.
It is probably best not to consider taking a drug that has as side effects, death, cancer of permanent muscle spasms.
I can be three inches taller with heel lifts.
Everyone B-list celebrity is on a diet plan.
Flo from the Progressive Insurance ads is not pregnant...just curvy.
There is no such thing as a pretty tattoo.
Stay away from any product that has the caveat, "not evaluated by the FDA."
If you want to look like a complete dork, purchase some Foster Grant Light Specs.
If it will keep your flannel pajama bottoms out of WalMart, buy yourself some pajama jeans.
They start advertising anti-depressants around eleven a.m. I'm pondering the significance of this.
The Sturgis motorcycle rally is not a family event.
There is healing power in juicing.
You can get paid to shop on Ebates.  You can get a computer for $67 on Qubids.  If you buy one room for flooring, you get two more rooms free at Empire. I haven't raised my MENSA score, but I'm a font a useless knowledge. I expect that by the time I finish my last six anti-biotics I'll be a drivelling fool.  Then I can sign up to retrain my brain at I can't decide who is or my televsion.

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