Fashion Plate

If you like Texas Jot, please take a look at my other blog, Fashion Plate. It is the home of my handmade retro Barbie clothes and lots of delicious recipes from my cookbooks.

Monday, October 1, 2012

What's in Hell?

In my everyday life I try to refrain from profanity, so I do apologize to anyone who is offended by the topic...Hell.
Now, there is "Go to Hell."  Which would be diagrammed as; You (understood) go (the verb) to Hell (a prepositional phrase and the direct object of the verb)
"What the hell?" is a little more difficult. It can be interpreted as "What in the hell are you thinking?" You being the subject, are the verb, thinking the adverb and I'm not quite sure how to handle the "what in the hell."  Help me out on this one..Is what the direct object and in the hell a prepositional phrase?
"I'm having a hell of a good time."  I the noun, having the verb, time direct object with good defining time and then I'm lost. Maybe an infinitive phrase acting as an adjective?
Well, the whole purpose of this silly grammar lesson is that Hell or hell can be whatever part of speech that one makes it.  Following that train of thought, I figured that Hell can be very personal.  Early humans had a great regard for the heavens (sky) because it provided light.  So, if the light was the ideal, than dark, as in caves and caverns, would represent a more sinister force.  Leaping thousands of years ahead to Greek mythology, the same biases remained. Hades, while not having a throne on Mount Olympus, was still considered part of the pantheon. This idea of "heaven" and "hell" has carried through to modern religions.While Dante envisioned a torturous nine circles of Hell, my idea of Hell would be a split screen of Animal Plant and Sci-Fi Network accompanied by jazz.  I'm not too crazy about the idea of Chinese water torture and bamboo shoots under my fingernails, either.
You may ask why I think I'm such an authority on HE-double-hockey-sticks...I've been to Hell.  If you were one of the lucky ones, you might have received a postcard from Hell, Cayman Islands.  It was quite an innocuous spot consisting of lots of coral and a post office.  Really, nothing much to get worked up about.  This is in sharp contract to the picture painted by an over-jealous Bible School teacher who tortured my preschooler with images of fire and red-devils.  She had nightmares for weeks.  My three-year-old daughter was spared the devils, but came home with what she described as "a bloody cross."  It gave me the creeps and signaled the end of Bible School for my children. Whatever happened to popcorn, movies and love thy neighbor?
After spotting this restroom sign, I wondered... could Shakespeare have been correct?  "Hell is empty and all the devils are here."

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